November 2007

Periodically a producer friend likes to issue challenges as a sort of learning experience. Recent he challenged my friend Chris to make two short films, one with no dialogue, and one with only 30 seconds of picture and the rest just dialogue.

The first one has a rough cut finished. We shot this in one afternoon. Written and Directed by Chris Thompson.

I find it quite amusing. I'm the burglar, by the way.

As I was sitting here trying to think of something to say that didn't have to do with Rock Band or my marriage, a commercial came on that I could have sworn said "Homos, want to refinance?"

I very quickly realized that he had said "Homeowners".

Sleeping isn't something that I really do well any more. One of the biggest side effects from this that I've noticed is that when I'm hanging out with Jess, that's when I feel comfortable and happy and content (well, in some ways) and thus when sleepiness really sets in. Especially if I'm lounging around her bed talking or lying around on the couch. It doesn't make me very good company. So I can't sleep normally but then it all comes crashing down on me when I want to be awake and enjoying her company. How annoying!

I went to a read through of this film I'm doing the other day and one of the other cast members was a guy I'd worked with once before. In the course of conversation he told me that he had just been hired as Ed Harris's stand in on the new movie, "Appaloosa" which Ed Harris was directing and starring in along with Viggo Mortenson, Renee Zellweiger, Lance Henrikson and Jeremy Irons.

Last night I got a call from someone who I've done a lot of extras work for asking my height and weight. She told me that she needed a stand in for Ed Harris because the first guy's mother had just just died. I told her I had just been talking to the first stand in the other day and was sorry to hear that.

I was excited about the prospect but also nervous. The original casting call had said they needed someone who was 5'9", 155 and preferably balding. I am 5'10", 165 and have a thick head of hair. My contact told me that she just didn't have many guys of the right frame so I should be close enough. She told me to wear the flattest shoes I had and keep my hair as low as I could get it.

About 30 minutes later she called me and told me that the first guy wanted to go ahead and work but that she didn't feel right about him going in despite his mother just dying and she couldn't understand how he would want to go ahead and work under those circumstances. She asked how well I knew him and what I thought about the situation. She said she was just worried that maybe he thought he wanted to go in but then might have a freak out on set or something. As much as I wanted this job (and could use the money) I told her that I understood where he was coming from. If I was in his situation I would not want to just sit and dwell on it. I would rather go and be doing something I loved and something that I was excited about and would make me feel better and perhaps help me deal with it better. She understood and agreed with me that it wasn't really her place to make that decision for him and she certainly didn't want to take the job away from him. I also told her that though I really wanted the job, I also didn't want to take it from someone who had it first and who could probably really use it now. That would be a double whammy to lose his mom and then a cool job too. She said she'd call him back and tell him he was back on. I felt like I'd done the right thing. Luckily I didn't have too much time to get too excited about it.

My condolences to you, Anthony. I hope you at least had a good time on set to ease your mind.

Most people talk about how brutal acting is because you encounter more rejection than anything else. I'm in the unusual situation of actually having build my confidence in my abilities since, so far,about 95% of my auditions have resulted in me being cast and I also have people just outright calling me and asking me to be in their films without even auditioning sometimes. I realize this will like all get worse as I get further into my career but at the moment, it's pretty sweet.

I realize that most of you can't make it to College Station on December first but for anyone who can or who wants to join the convoy heading from Austin to College Station that day, my band which usually plays all private functions is having a public gig at Hullabaloos. It's going to be a huge blast of a party where we get to pull out all the stops and play all our best stuff. Come join us!

Roommates who have really loud sex. All the time. I really don't want to disrupt our otherwise great living situation but I'm about to my breaking point. It's just gone beyond comical into ludicrous, annoying, overbearing and inconsiderate.

I know my blog has been completely Rock Band-centric lately but it's what's going on!

You haven't truly experienced Rock Band until you've played with Jess singing "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. Awesome.

This game's awesomeness can not be overstated. Jess, Staci and I spent most of today going through the tour mode. Then when you're done playing you can spend forever choosing from the many awesome costume options, tattoo art, designing your band logo and more. Now if only our replacement guitar would hurry its way here so we could stop being handicapped on guitar. Best game ever. However, I don't see how any human is supposed to play "Won't Get Fooled Again" on drums on expert. It's positively insane.

Today our guitar controller started acting up. Up strums work but down strums only mostly work. Every now and then they just decide not to work. Though this made things very difficult, it did not stop us from playing. Hopefully EA will be quick in issuing us a replacement.

Today Larry and I paid a visit to our downstairs neighbor to do some sound tests. We found that if we put our "Rock Band" drum set on a blanket, that greatly isolated the noise. We could not, however, find any good way to keep jess's music on her computer from being annoyingly loud in the downstairs bedroom.

I'm investigating trying to find some sound absorbing materials to put the drum set on and to put our stereo speakers on (which we run the TV through).

And it is every bit as bad ass as the hype preceding it. We had planned on shutting it down at 10 p.m. so as not to disturb the lady below us (I hate living in a condo for that reason) but at 9:50 she came knocking to ask us to turn it down. I told her we had planned on quitting at 10 but she appeared pretty irritated (normally she's quite polite when asking us to shut up, and yes it has, unfortunately, happened many times) and said that it had been going on 4 6 hours (which I think it had) and that we had no idea what those drums sounded like down in her condo.

*sigh*

I really hate disturbing her as I like to keep good relations with people in my community, but we're certainly not going to quit playing games or listening to music. We already keep quiet after 10 (including no washing clothes because when it drains it sounds like a waterfall to her) and even when we are doing something we try to keep it to what seems like a reasonable volume.

Argh. What a pain. And now I'm always self-conscious when I see her around and I'm paranoid about the noise level all the time.

But anyway, Rock Band does indeed rock. So much so, I think I might just sell my PS2 and all my guitar hero games. No need for them any more. I have so many other games I want to play and Rock Band scratches the same itch and does it WAYYYY better. Better controllers, better graphics, better game play, better everything.

Making the "Miis" on the Nintendo Wii (Miis are your little avatars you can make) is fun enough to be its own game. So far I've made all 4 Beatles, Kevin Smith and more. You can also post, download and browse Miis on the "Check Mii Out" channel. Dude, the Wii rocks.

Tomorrow...

the day...

Rock Band for the 360!

Mitch Hedberg periodically possesses my body. Every now and then I will just say something that sounds like something that he would have said (though not nearly as brilliant as him) and it even comes out in his particular inflection. My most recent Mitch-ism: a friend was saying that she knew someone with photographic memory. I said "I have phonographic memory. I remember everything people say but it's kind of scratchy and sometimes it skips."

Several years ago I started basically eating healthy (following the South Beach plan) and dropped about 60lbs. I changed my lifestyle and eating habits, got in decent shape and have stayed there ever since. I would usually allow myself a "free for all" Friday where I could eat whatever I wanted but tied to stay healthy the rest of the week. Occasionally I would slip and start eating a little more crap, especially when I'm working on a film. Eating healthy on set is rough because you get bored and there's always snacks around and they're usually junk food.

If I found myself straying a little too far I would usually go extra strict for a week or two to reset my scales. Lately with all the emotional turmoil and depression, I feel like a drug addict who has fallen off the wagon. I haven't really gained much (if any) weight back but I know I have to reel it in. I'm surviving on frozen pizzas, ice cream, and eating out. I still try be more healthy when I can, (such as choosing Schlotzky's or Zen when eating out) but I've been pretty off the deep end. It's just hard to care about eating healthy when there are more more important things wrong with your life but somehow I have to find that willpower again before I really start doing some damage.

I don't know how I'm ever going to be productive again. I'm currently addicted to Metroid Prime 3 on the Wii as well as Wii Sports, Super Mario Galaxies is out and I hear talk of many other cool games. I'm still 2 songs away from completing Guitar Hero III on the PS2 and we've got Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect coming out for the Xbox 360. And of course Rock Band coming out this week. Plus many, many more. I'm swamped!

Today I saw a casting notice that piqued my interest:

The Discovery Channel is looking for talented hosts (Men, women, actors, hosts, comedians!) to star in its next, long running hit series.

We are searching for charismatic individuals à la Mike Rowe of "Dirty Jobs" or the team from "Mythbusters." We don't, however, want CLONES of those hosts. The most important elements of our search are that:

1. The talent MUST feel authentic and relatable to middle America. They should be the type of fun and engaging host that you want to be your friend!
2. The talent MUST be able to host a show that is visceral, challenging and exciting. They have to be willing to try anything!

I'm sure it's a big lottery but never the less I sent an email. I was just going to send some links to some of my stuff online but then I decided that wasn't good enough so I edited together a demo of my best "hosting" moments from "Movie Musketeers" since that seemed relevant, as well as a link to my rough acting demo (damn, I need to update that) and a link to our whole youtube catalog just in case they want to browse or view some things in their entirety.

I'm sure the chances are slim to none, but it can't hurt to try! That would just be too cool.

The Victorian era film I did, "Birthright", is now online for viewing. I think I explained before how this was the team that won the Austin round of the 48 hour Film competition and so this was the next round where we compete nationally. On Friday evening we received our Genre, certain props, story points, and a details that we had to use. As the director said, I'm not sure how much sense it will make to anyone not in on all the details we were saddled with, and quite frankly, I'm kind of worried that they might just throw us out for not fulfilling the requirements they gave us (whether or not we met some of the requirements could be argued and hard to "prove" either way; for example, our genre was "comedy/action/adventure" and I'm not so sure I would say it meets that; we were also supposed to have "adhesive tape" in the film and while we technically did in the scene where she cuts open a package, I don't know if that's obvious enough to the judges.)

I also composed and recorded the score for the film in a couple of hours on Sunday.

I had two auditions recently that I didn't necessarily feel very good about. One of them was a film that had auditions two days in a row. I couldn't make it the first day but I heard there were a lot of people who showed up. I was there first thing on the second day and the director was finishing up his lunch. His casting director wasn't there but he went ahead and auditioned me anyway. He didn't have a camera there which was unusual since people usually record auditions. In addition he read all the other parts opposite me so most of the time he was looking at the paper, I thought, and so I was worried that he couldn't really watch my performance. I figured if I was going to be cast it would have be from his memory since there would be no footage and his casting director wasn't there to give her input. I wasn't sure how that would work. I could see the director talking to his casting director, "I want to cast this guy as Mike. You've never seen him. He came in while you weren't there. There's no camera footage of him, but trust me, he'll be a great Mike." I at least felt generally good about my performance though. I got the email yesterday that I got the part.

My second audition was more unsettling. Initially the director had sent me the first 20 pages and asked if it sounded like something I would be interested in. I said it was and then never heard anything else other than the open audition dates. I showed up figuring they would have some audition sides there for people to read. When I went in it became apparent that he expected me to have something prepared from the script. I think another general notice had gone out with links to audition sides, but the link had been problematic for a lot of people and I had never seen the sides. I had seen the first 20 pages but since it was just to see if I would be interested in the script so I didn't think I'd be expected to just memorize the first 20 pages. It was kind of an awkward exchange and I felt really uncomfortable because I like to be very professional and prepared and I felt like I looked really unprofessional and unprepared.

The director was very gracious and fished out some bits for me to read. After the audition he told me he'd like me to send him some additional pictures mainly because he envisioned the character differently (possibly obese, maybe with glasses) so he wanted to see some other looks on me since he said he likes to go with the best actor more than a particular look. Though he was very gracious, I didn't leave feeling very hopeful about that role.

I got the email today offering me the role. I guess you just never know!

We had been planning to get a Nintendo Wii someday but that happened yesterday when a friend of ours had the chance to pick up one of 60 Wiis that Best Buy had received. He didn't want one but knew that we did so we had him grab it. We should be picking it up from him tonight.

Just what I need! Something else to stop my productivity. We've played with our friend's Wii (saucy!) so we know the fun in store for us. Come visit! Play with our Wii!

...for one scene in the short film I'm filming tonight. I'd rather not but I think it was inevitable that at some point in my career I would have to smoke in a scene. I'm just hoping that I can make it look believable and no cough my guts out. They liked my current facial hair configuration (leftover from my Victorian shoot, sideburns and mustache but not chin hair, whatever that's called)so I'm keeping it at least until Monday. I play a car thief mentoring a younger thief.

So I think the iPhone is very pretty and has some pretty cool "wow" factors. It's way too expensive though and I read a pretty thorough review that highlighted a lot of the shortcomings too. I really love my phone but lately I've really been wanting something that I could use to check my Google calendar too so that when I'm at an audition or something and ask "are you available on these dates?" I don't have to say "I'll tell you when I get home and check my calendar."

A guy on the film shoot today had one. They are very sleek but I really don't think I would like it anywhere near enough to justify that kind of price tag.

It was 5 years ago today that Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play...

Wait no. It was 5 years ago today that I stood dressed in velvety tights with see-through lace up the sides, bleached blond hair, thigh high leather boots, leather gauntlets, a cloak and a swept hilt rapier and pledged my eternal love and commitment to one of the most beautiful women on the planet, Jessica Sara Downs who wore a maroon dress and a garland in her hair. We were married at the Texas Renaissance Festival. We had many friends and family from England there, as well as plenty of Americans. Her family, her ex-boyfriend as her "mUrt of Honor", my band, one of my best friends since elementary school as my Best Man, people from the internet posting board where we met including our friend Karma who later passed away leaving our wedding day as the only time we ever actually met her in person. It was one of, if not the most amazing day of my life.

Obviously, at the moment it's a bit of a bittersweet day. I can only hope with all my heart and soul that 5 years from now I'll be celebrating my 10th anniversary under very different circumstances. I love you, Jess. I'm sorry.

I shall now take this moment to give Jess the chance to stop reading if she so wishes. What follows is nothing negative or bad but I think that she doesn't really like to hear, discuss or deal with anything related to our relationship any more so I wanted to give her fair warning that what follows is about us and my feelings about us.

I want to blog about stuff. And yet I don't. Yet I do. Dilemma. I may need to consult da Grr.

We so need a Nintendo Wii.

We have an Xbox 360 which is way cool too. I just saw a commercial for Call of Duty 4. Must go pick that up!

The last set of my "expert" career on Guitar Hero III is BRUTAL! It's totally kicking my ass. Tried many times to get through "Rain of Blood" and failed every time. I decided to move on to "Cliffs of Dover" but can't even make it through the intro. I 4 starred "Number of the Beast" though, so that's cool. Then I tried "One" and completely bit it once it reached the really fast solo part. Looks like I might have to break down and use the "practice" mode to complete it.

Got cast in r another short film filming this Sunday night. I will play a car thief mentoring an aspiring thief. I'll be keeping my Victorian facial hair for the part. They liked it.

So, yeah, I want to blog about stuff. And yet I don't.

Last night Iskra texted me to tell me that a bunch of people from the crew of a movie she's working on were going out to a bar for a friend's birthday. Since I knew this friend and many of the crew, I considered meeting them. At first I didn't want to go. It's hard for me to overcome my inertia and besides, I'm not big on bars, especially since I suspected this little hole in the wall would be one of the places that ignores the smoking band and let's people smoke anyway. I decided to drop by for just a little while and say hi. I was right about the smoking but luckily it wasn't too bad in there. One of the people on the crew is a guy named Jon who worked one the short films I'd just finished. We'd hit it off pretty well on the short film and both Larry and I thought he was a cool guy.

As soon as I walked in, he was the first one I saw and we immediately started talking. I don't think we stopped for the next few hours. He's also a musician so we talked at length and in depth about all things musical. From there things got deeper and more personal and by then of the night I found myself kind of surprised at the level of conversation I'd just had with someone that I didn't know all that well. It was one of those cool genuine moments of connection that so rarely come along in life. It was a welcome respite. I think we be kindred spirits.

One of the worst side effects of my current life turmoil is that I feel almost completely unable to function. I seem to have absolutely no capacity for productivity. My attention span is non-existent. I've taken to sleeping in the living room on the couch because I need the TV on all night to keep my brain distracted enough to allow me to get even a few hours of sleep a night. This is, needless to say, not good for many reasons including the fact that I have various projects I need to get on with and I just can't find the will or energy to do so. I seem to exist in a state of stasis in a grey and black void.

This is where I really love acting. Acting comes so easily to me and really makes me happy. I just walk on set, do my thing and then I'm done. I don't have to worry about any of the preparations, logistics, etc., that come with my own projects. Sure I have to learn my lines and find my character and all that but comparatively, it seems so much easier. It's the one thing that still works even in my current state of utter uselessness. Now if I could just get huge gobs of money to act in other people's projects I'd be all set! Well at least more set than I am currently.

In many ways Autumn/Winter are my favorite time of the year. Always has been. Strangely though, it always seems to be a time of the year when I am much more pensive and emotional. Really in touch with my emotions and passions. For obvious reasons I am absolutely dreading the next several months. Please send all the good vibes, Wiccan spells, prayers and thoughts you can muster.

I am really digging the new show "Journeyman". It's easy to write it off as a "Quantum Leap" ripoff but I really think it has its own thing going.

I'm almost done with my "Expert" Guitar Hero III career. Next month, ROCK BAND! That game is going to be awesome.

Owen Wilson, I understand, man. Call me if you want to talk.

Uh, yeah. I think that's it for now. He's Chevy Chase and I'm not. I am outta here!

So thanks to Jess I discovered a little quirk here since I upgraded to MT4. If you previously commented using Typekey then you may have had a problem trying to register here now (Movable Type now has built in registration so you don't have to use typekey if you don't want to). I've cleared out the database entries so if anyone previously tried to register but received "a user with that name already exists" then you should be able to register now if you so choose. Otherwise typekey still works as do LiveJournal logins, OpenID and Vox logins.

Let me know of any wonkiness you encounter.

I've succumbed to twitter too thanks to Jess who succumbed thanks to some other friends. I actually find it pretty fun though I would find it much more so if there were more people I knew using it.

I have a first generation TiVo that I've since hacked and upgraded in many ways. I've added a second hard drive, replaced the first hard drive, added a cache card and an ethernet jack so it can communicate with my wireless network instead of using the phone. When I first bought it I bought the "lifetime subscription" which has long since paid for itself but is locked to this particular unit. They no longer offer lifetime subscriptions and you can't transfer it.

They were having a special where you could buy a new HD TiVo for $300 and transfer your lifetime membership to the new unit for $200 (basically buying a new lifetime membership even though they technically aren't offered any more). I was so tempted, however we don't have the money to do it and we don't have an HD TV. It would have been more for prevention of future problems. Eventually I will get an HD TV and HD service at which point our TiVo will no longer be of any use because it will not handle HD quality.

Uhh, bummer. That's really all there is to this story.

Today I shot a film with the team that won the 48 hour film challenge for Austin and therefore went on to the next round. We were filming a short film for the national round today. Friday night we received our instructions on what genre our film had to be and some other details we had to follow. The writers wrote until about 1 a.m. and we filmed it today. It was a lot of fun and I got to do some more fun improving that seemed to please everyone.

I think I forgot to mention that on the last short film I did I got to do some great improving also and especially the scene Larry and I had together had everyone in stitches. Many takes were ruined by crew members laughing and the Director of Photography said we could have sold tickets.

and now some crappy phone camera pics from the set:

I have always been anti-smoking. My mom has smoked for pretty much my entire life and I always hated it. Hated the smell. Hated that I seem to be extra sensitive to smoke. The slightest whiff, even from quite some distance can choke me up. For example, tonight, several people were smoking on the balcony with the door open and I had to close my bedroom door because I could smell it. Of course there's also the extreme amount of money smokers spend and the whole issue of supporting the evil tobacco companies and plenty of other rational arguments that could be made even if you're one of the people who believes that there is no scientific evidence that smoking is linked to health problems, but that's a whole other subject and I don't want to start that debate here. My issue is more personal.

The part I don't understand is my own vehement reaction to it. With everything going on with Jess, I think one of things that hurts the most is that she has started smoking again. She smoked before I knew her but had quit before we met. The fact that it even registers on my radar sounds ridiculous even to me. Why do I care so much? Why is it such a big deal? Why is it so important to me that my loved ones not smoke? I feel the same sense of hurt and distance when Larry occasionally smokes too. Now don't get me wrong, I know that no one is doing it to be hurtful or anything. I just don't understand why it means so much to me. The first time I saw jess light up on our balcony, let's just say my reaction was completely and irrationally emotional. Maybe because of our separation my subconscious read more into it like because she knows how much it means to me maybe I stupidly saw it as a big final "fuck you" which, of course, I know it isn't. I'm sure we all know the stupid things we can think when we're emotional.

But the fact is is that is a big deal to me and I don't know why. I don't think it's a judgmental thing, but admittedly I could be wrong. I don't think any less of her for it and I don't think I'm better than people who smoke. I really do think it's more of a connection thing. It makes me feel distant and disconnected and I do legitimately worry about the health of the people I love and supporting the evil empires of tobacco (which ironically is a trait directly instilled in me by Jess). To me it feels like it comes from a place of caring and concern and not a confrontational or judgmental place. I value my connections with people and anything that interfers with those connections bothers me.

I just don't understand why I feel the way I do. I don't want it to interfere with my connection. Why can't I just not care about it? When Larry smokes, I feel down. When Jess smokes it's of a whole other order of magnitude. It feels like it almost hurts as much as our separation which should be ludicrous! I'm sure there must be some deep subconscious motivation at work here. I just can't figure out what it is. I'm really trying to be better about this and at least not be judgmental or sanctimonious about my feelings. I'd love to find the root of this and find a way to overcome it.

I've seen billboards on the side of the road that say "Does advertising work? It just did!"

Um...no...actually it didn't. All that means is that my eyes work and I can read. Just because I didn't avert my eyes from your stupid billboard doesn't mean I'm going to buy your product or frequent your business, which is more the point of advertising, I would think.

And with this post, we begin NaBloPoMo!