August 2004

"Outlook not so good"

As you may remember, I have some friends who work for a company that I really want to work for, in a department that I really would like to work in, in a career and industry that I would absolutely love to pursue. There were some job openings, and after hearing that I had applied, they put in a word for me to try and get me an interview. A few weeks went by, and I made a follow up inquiry, and they thought they might start interviewing in the next couple of weeks, and that I was on the list to be interviewed as far as they knew. About a month later I made another inquiry and found out interviews had been going on. They went and talked to their manager only to find out tht he had forgotten I was a recommendation, and that I did not make the but to be interviewed due to my totaly lack of industry experience, and the fact that another company had recently gone away and thus flooded the market with experienced folk.

This has hit me quite hard, even though I was trying not to get my hopes up. I feel absolutely gutted, and pretty much on the verge of tears all day. I feel totally trapped in a job I hate, with no foreseeable future other than going from one unpleasant job to another, forever slaving for the man due to the fact that regardless of what skills I possess, I don't have anything to really show or prove that I am qualified for anything.

I am quite taken aback at how hard this has hit me. I didn't realize how tight I was clinging to this hope to keep me afloat, and now that's gone, and I don't really have anything to cling to now. Just a general grayness overlaying everything I see now. I'm sure it will pass, but this is the worst I've felt in a long time. I hate wallowing in self-pity, and it bothers me when other people do it, and yet I can't shake the funk. I see no light to look forward to at the moment.

Boo. Boo, I say. Cheery post, eh?

"weird Al" Yankovic has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I remember lip syncing to "Eat It" in my 8th grade drama class while Shannon Capps played a baby who wouldn't eat his food (and also performed a mean guitar solo on a toy ukelele). I remember laying in bed on Sunday nights, staying up until midnight listening to Dr. Demento in the dark even though I had school the next day. I remember my best friend, Andy, spending the night on the weekends, and we'd play "Weird Al" tapes on one jam box while recording on another jam box as we sang along, thus making our own albums along with original songs of our own when I'd learned to play guitar. He's like an old friend who has been with me as long as I can remember, and continues on through today. Our history together came flooding back to me tonight.

Now I will remember "Weird Al" in concert. I've spoken before about how I don't think Al gets the attention he actually deserves, and seeing him in concert solidifies this fact. Most people merely know him as "That guy who does funny song parodies about Star Wars and food, mostly", but his originals often outshine his mostly brilliant but sometimes only mediocre parodies in my opinion. He has a tremendously talented band, and is actually a very gifted songwriter with a knack for great music and melodies in addition to razor-edged rapier wit and intelligence.

Before this show, I already knew what a great show he puts on from much Internet reading, and a lovely DVD given to me by the lovely Beth. He was performing at The Paramount here in Austin which is a really nice, and intimate venue, which probably doesn't have a bad seat. He managed to cram in an amazing number of songs by only playing abridged versions of a lot of them, which actually worked quite well. You get enough to enjoy the song and get the joke, but end up getting to hear a lot more songs than if they were all performed in their entirety. Between many songs there were funny video clips, mostly taken from his various "Al TV" specials that used to air on MTV, and various other clips. These were used not only to entertain, but to fill time while Al and the band changed into costumes for various showpiece songs, such as his fat suit for "Fat", Jedi robes, P-diddy suits, Nelly gear, and many others. He ventured into the audience several times also much to the crowd's delight. The show was completely amazing, and one of the most fun entertaining things you'll ever see. He also performed at least one song (a parody of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On") that is only performed live, and has never been issued.

I highly encourage anyone to go and catch this show if you can. Now I'm going to add all his older albums to my Amazon Wish List, since I have been remiss over the years in replacing the old cassettes I used to have.

I'm still waiting to hear from a job that I really want. I have an inside contact, and supposedly I am on the list of people to be interviewed, however it's been over a month now and I've had no call.

I thought I would harness the power of the force and get all of you to open your eyes maniacally, put your hand on your right temple, and beam your most intense thoughts into the atmosphere, encouraging them to call me for an interview and hire me. If you like you can also emit a sound effect like "nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh" sort of like the bionic man when he jumps.

Thankd you for your cooperation.

I was going to make an entry all about how work makes my life a perpetual state of mediocrity, but instead, Jess suggested I make a lovely chart to more succinctly, and beautifully illustrate my point.

If you enter a comment on an entry here and click the "remember me" button, does it remember you next time you come back? It works for me and Jess, but some have reported it doesn't work for them, so I'm trying to determine if it's a website problem, or an individual problem on the user's end. Thanks!

Most of you are probably aware that Jess and I started adhering to the South Beach Diet several months ago. Now before you all roll your eyes at the whole "low carb" fad, do your homework. I won't bore you with the diet details, or by praising it's virtues etc. Suffice to say we are in it for the long haul for long term health benefits, not just to lose some quick weight with the latest fad.

I've already lost over 20 lbs., and I look and feel better than I have in 10 years or more. I'm halfway to my personal goal.

While I've always had a sweet tooth, and loved foods that are horrible for you, I can see myself sticking to it. While I psychologically miss certain things, I don't "crave" them like I did before, where I just absolutely could not resist having something.

That being said, I still like to have some simple pleasures to satisfy the tastes I like. I've managed to stick to diet soft drinks (diet mountain dew and Diet vanilla pepsi are two of my favorites which taste the least diet-y).

Chocolate milk has always been a favorite of mine. I'm happy to say I've found a way to enjoy it. I've tried 2 different "low carb" chocolate milks. One was tolerable. One is downright nummy. Hood's Carb Countdown is so nummy it makes me suspicious. I think this is most like due to the presence of "Splenda", one of the best artificial sweeteners there is. Why more products haven't ditched Nutrasweet in favor of Splenda, I do not know. Just thought I'd pass this along for those who love chocolate milk, but are trying to watch their health.

Who is Katherine Marsh? A woman I met a grand total of once, and in fact I'm not even positive I'm spelling her name right. This story came back to me the other day as I was thinking about old songs I had written. One of them was called "Hey Katherine!" inspired by this event.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Well actually it was several years ago in a club, my band was hired to play a party for the Landscape Architecture Department at Texas A&M University. We showed up early for set-up, and I met our contact person, one Katherine Marsh. She was one of the graduating students organizing this shindig. We talked about the details, and she was very friendly, and personable.

Throughout the evening we chatted some more, and seemed to have a good rapport. We joked with each other, laughed, flirted, and generally had a good time throughout the evening. I definitely thought there was some chemistry. Of the good kind, that is. No the kind that makes beakers explode and pelts students with shards of glass.

At the end of the night she gave me a big hug, we said our goodbyes, and she exited the building. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I should have asked for her number or something. After a few minutes she came back into the club. She approached me and asked "So are you gonna call me sometime?"

I replied, "Not unless you give me your number", which she then did.

I was flying high as a... thing that flies really high but is less cliché than a kite. I'm generally a pretty shy guy when it comes to things like this, and the fact that a cool, fun, pretty woman had approached me and given me her number made my night. Actually it probably made my period of time longer than a night, but it couldn't be precisely measured without many scientific instruments. The rest of the night I had a huge smile on my face.

The next day I finally work up the nerve and call her. None of these stupid games like "never call a girl until 2.24 days after you get her number". Voice mail. I leave a slightly nervous, possibly awkward, but hopefully endearing message. I can't remember how long I waited but it was at least a day, possibly a couple. No response. I debate whether or not to drop it or call her again, and decide that I'll give it one more shot just in case some circumstances prevented her from getting my message (such as voice mail glitch, alien abduction, or a problem in The Matrix). Working up even more nerve, I call a second time. This time I'm thankful I get the voicemail as it would be more awkward if she answered. One more awkward but hopefully endearing message later, I hang up and wait. Days, weeks, months pass. Actually just days, but in this situation, time flows in a different and painful manner. No reply. As a last ditch effort, I use my wily, efficient, and geeky skills to find her email address on the Internet. Well what if her voicemail is defective and eating messages? I must try a backup medium! So in a last desperate attempt (and at high risk of seeming stalkery, but hopefully in a persistent, endearing way), I email her.

I never heard from Katherine Marsh again. I have some theories on this.

1. She was piss drunk that night and woke up the next day realizing "I gave my number to that guy? Awww crap! Thank god for caller ID!"

2. I think at some point, after discussing my dilemma with band, our bass player went and talked to her and said something to her (I'm not sure what) indicating my interest. Now even if this were true, she would have no reason to come back after she had left to give me her number under duress. So while it's possible, I don't find it very plausible.

3. (My preferred theory) She was intimidated by her overwhelming and immediate attraction to me like a moth to the flame, especially considering her pending graduation, and decided that it must remain a love that could not be, for while her heart and soul might ache for eternity, the fulfillment of her desires might be too much for any mere mortal to handle.

4. Alien Abduction, she became a Pod Person, or she was a secret agent and/or Jedi and must live without love.