August 2003

Todays studio session produced Hello "Mr. Sunshine". I dig it. I'm on guitar, bass, drums, tambourine and backup vocals. It's a bit "out there" but in a cool way.

Oh, and I had 2 job possibilities today. This is good for the money situation, and yet I can't really say I'm happy about it as this means what meager progress I have made in the acting/etc pursuits will now have to be shelved, at least for the moment. So yay for paying bills and all, but yet I strangely can't really seem to find any joy in this turn of events.

I'm a great musician/writer/producer though! Very happy with that!

The title just seemed appropriate to my current life mood. I've mentioned this feeling before, but it's never been stronger than now. The feeling that I know my destination in life, but yet I seem to find my way there. I took the wrong exit, and there is no maps.yahoo.com equivalent.

I'm not even talking about my ultimate goals of fame and stardom as an actor and musician, I'm just talking about my more feasible goals, although admittedly even my "feasible" goals are still pretty outlandish. I can't even begin to remotely express my thoughts so I'll ramble as best I can. For example:

Working as a Production Assistant on Film/TV projects. There is a decent amount of work in Texas in this field (although less since so many productions are going to Canada now), and yet it seems as out of reach as anything. One thing I've learned more and more in every aspect of life, is that it's much more who you know, and not what you know. I submit my (albeit tiny) resume for every project that comes up, and I get nothing. I've even called camera rental businesses, props places, and any other production related businesses here just to try and find a job that's at least involved in the industry, but none are hiring of course, and many are actually just basically kind of one or two person operations. There's even an actual studio complex in Austin. Hard to break into the biz as it were. You basically start out doing anything and everything you can, a lot of it for free just to get experience and contacts. My uncle is a professional Director Of Photography and has been for over 20 years, and even he has found work to be lean lately, but I admire him so much because he is doing it for a good living. He has worked and raised a family strictly doing freelance cameraman/DP work. However, as previously mentioned, he paid his dues early on. He didn't' just jump into immediately working full time in the film industry. Now he has lots of contacts from all his years of work, and that gets him more work. The few production assistant jobs I have done have been as a result of his recommendation. Of course if I get a "real" job, that pretty much makes pursuing these types of things impossible.

There's also a decent gaming industry in Austin. As far as "real" jobs go, I could dig working in the gaming industry. Of course, this also follows a similar pattern to the one above. Knowing the right people. I've actually seen 2 jobs which I've applied for. One as "Assistant Community Manager" for Star Wars Galaxies, and one for an "in-game support" position with another game. Chances of getting either are only slightly more than my chances of winning the lottery, and these are entry level positions.

Also, read this for an example of how someone in the industry got their job. Almost all accounts I've read were similar. Things like "back when I was flipping burgers I played D&D with this guy who wrote a Zork parody, and this guy who worked for a game company hired him. Later after working for several game companies in progressively better jobs, they needed someone and he called me".

Then there's the music thing. Now being a musician in Austin is basically like being an actor in L.A. It's a great place for music, but it's also super saturated with musicians. Again, it's a long term hang around the scene, get to know people, make contacts, and get your name out. Not something you're going to accomplish overnight.

Now while I may sound all frustrated doom and gloom, there is an upside too. Since I've been here I've been on several auditions, sent out tons of acting and film crew resumes, and I'm going back in the studio tomorrow for another session of work on our new CD. Basically the only real chance I have is if Jess can get a good job, and thus allow me to be a slacker (financially) until I can get established. I really don't think anything I want to do is possible when working a full time office job that's in no way related to what you want to be doing. Especially for the acting/crew work, since you need to be available for the jobs, and if it's a paying job it's most likely not just an "after business hours" job. If it weren't for the need for money, I wouldn't even really mind my state of affairs. I don't mind the auditions, and the working your way to where you want to be. It's all the need for money to pay bills that creates the tension. Oh, how I do NOT look forward to getting another "job" I don't really care about except for the paycheck.

My mind is quite a jumble and expressing this all coherently is becoming more and more difficult as I try to put it into words. Basically, life is good, Austin is good, and the world is my burrito, but it's just a frustrating time. It's like I can see exactly where I should be. In fact I can see several options of where I should be, but I'm trapped in one of those crazy entrapment mirrors, like General Zod in Superman. I can see everyone else there, and there's a me-shaped space of emptiness. I'm a nuclear bomb of potential, undiscovered in a sealed box buried next to Jimmy Hoffa, underneath the secret bungalow where Elvis lives with Amelia Earheart.

Grr. Argh. Jane, get me off this crazy thing.

Hmm, someday, maybe I'll finish my damn screenplay. It's really going to be good, if it's not killed by laziness. Right, well it's always good to end on a random trail off long after you've lost all momentum and readers...

Life in Austin has been way busy so far. Here's the ups and downs of my recent life:

UPs:
Talked to my contact at a local studio. He says he will give me a shot at some jingle work. Basically, there is a pool of composers all competing to sell their music for whatever project comes up. My first submission will be for free (which is reasonable since he shouldn't just start paying out of blind faith). If he deems my talents usable, then I'll join the pool of composers. Whenever a project comes up, I'll submit my demo, for which I'll get paid $350. If my demo is actually chosen by the company out of all the submissions, I'll probably get about $2500 (varies according to project). This is all theoretical at the moment, and we'll see if any of this pans out into actual work for me.

I made $200 yesterday as a studio guitar player. Craig Davis wanted to cut one of our new songs for the upcoming CD, and also there are a couple of generic car jingles we wanted to finish for this guy who thinks he can really get some business going. Hopefully this could possibly turn into some work for Craig, Spencer (the guy who owns and runs the studio), and myself. So I laid down guitar on 2 jingles, then Craig and I recorded a new tune for the CD. The session was a blast. I am so in my element in the studio. Craig brings in great tunes, I take them and add parts, arrange, produce, spice up, etc., and Spencer engineers and produces and comes up with great ideas and suggestions too. Having that third brain and set of ears in there really helps come from different angles.

Yesterdays session was fun in that this tune had just been written last week and we really didn't have it very planned out at all, so we just ended up sort of creating it as we recorded it and ideas came to us. Craig did the vocals and piano, and I laid down, bass, guitars, backup vocals, and even a sitar part. Very cool track. When we get done with the whole CD, we're going to have a great drummer named Dexter come in and replace the temporary drum machine (used just to keep time in the song) with real, live soulful drums. That makes ALL the difference in the world. In fact, I debated whether to even post the song right now since it's so unfinished, but what the hell. When the finished CD comes out you'll have had a glimpse into the creative process.

(file deleted now 10/15/2004) - rough mix, no drums yet (just a drum machine keeping time), and generally unfinished, but still cool.

Monday night we went to an AustinActors.net meeting, which was cool and fun. Afterward we went to an audition for a freebie short film about a serial killers therapy group. I didn't get cast. Tonight I'm auditioning for another freebie project. It's a student miniseries about vampires.

I finally heard back from an application I put in online from IKON office solutions. The recruiter was going to forward my resume to the hiring manager here in Austin for a position where I'd basically work for different companies all the time filling in when someone was gone or needed. I think I'd be doing tons of copying, scanning etc. I still haven't heard back from the hiring manager. I may inquire further today.

Internet, cable, and toilet are all in working condition. The apartment is cool. I have good friends and family who have helped out however they could. My wife rules, so I'm never alone.

DOWNs:
I really don't want to go back to working for "the man" in a job I have no passion for. The thought sucks my very life away, but I see no way around it currently. Our bank account is dwindling to scary proportions. I very well may be inquiring at the Blockbuster video next to our apartment complex for employment as well as a couple of banks in the vicinity, and anything else I see as I drive around the streets. If it weren't for my $200 session work yesterday, I'd be in serious panic mode.

I think I've about taxed my brain on this epic entry. Stay tuned for further adventures.

I feel as if something has happened the last few days...what could it be? Oh yeah, we moved to Austin. You would hardly know it looking at our apartment which does not look like we just moved in. We are efficient moving in machines! For a full account see, Jess's entry here. Still have to iron out the internet/cable/toilet issues, and look for jobs ASAP.

Several movies are casting, so I hope to get in on that. One is a new Luke and Owen Wilson movie. Monday night, we're going to a monthly meeting for Austin Actors, to meet people and attend a Q & A with a talent agent here.

That's about all my addled brain can come up with at the moment. We're here. The adventure has begun.

At 5:00Pm CST today, I become unemployed. Tomorrow we begin the move to Austin, finishing up on Friday. Scary.

On another front, Just as I finally put the foot down and stomp out the few computer bugs I've been trying to track down at home, my computer took a complete and utter nosedive. Long story short, I had to completely reinstall my operating system, and basically start from scratch like it was a new computer. Luckily I was able to retrieve my documents and bookmarks and vital things like that.

Spent about 13 hours yesterday getting my machine back up and running. Still have a lot of programs to install and testing to do to make sure what the problem was so it's not repeated. Ugh. It made me utterly sick, and frustrated and I wanted to cry, and go to bed and never get up. Bad, bad day.

Things look on the up and up though, except for the scary moving and not having a job thing. However, while it's scary, it's also all very exciting. Many good opportunities lie ahead. Hopefully you find me on the streets of Austin holding a cardboard sign.

All engines ahead! The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

P.S. and for anyone who might not have noticed, and who would actually care, if you put your email in the little field up top, you can get an email telling you when I've made a new entry. Don't all rush for your keyboards!