Flotsam and Jetsam
Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005
1One of the most brilliant comics ever to make me laugh my ass off has died. Details are just hitting the news agencies. I heard about this early this morning but couldn’t confirm it until now. Comedy has lost a legend, even if many people have never heard of him. I even wrote a part for him in my screenplay with a bit of dialogue based on one of his stand up bits. I am actually quite surprised at how much his death has affected me. I had the pleasure of seeing him live three different times, and even getting a picture with him on one occasion.
I highly recommend grabbing this great package of his two CD’s and a DVD. I’m trying to come up with some witty Mitch-like quip here, but it’s not happening. File this under “D” for “Damn”. It’s right next to “Donut”.
In addition to his CD’s there’s a great thread here with a lot of his jokes that people saw him do live but aren’t on wither of his CD’s.
And now my lame attempt at diffusing tragedy with a poor emulation of how I imagine Mitch in the great beyond:
[mitch emulation]
Man, when I first got here, there was this blinding white light and these voices saying “Mitchell, go towards the light..” I said “not until you install a dimmer or perhaps issue some incorporeal sunglasses. That is too damn bright. Perhaps you should consider a lower wattage.”
[/mitch emulation]
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.”
-Mitch Hedberg
Here’s the plan:
2Will’s company will decide to leave Hollywood for the more laid back, burgeoning film industry in Austin, TX, and we will convince Terry Gilliam and Eddie Izzard to also come here for a production. Probably Gilliam’s “Dark Omens” which would also mean Neil Gaiman would come here as a consultant.
That’s the short version. Suffice to say, that was the end result of a random conversation Jess and I had the other day. My favorite point was when my brain about snapped at the bizarre thought of Terry Gilliam directing a film starring Ben stiller and Eddie Izzard.
The other option was that Will, Annika, Jess and I start that fantasy production company we’ve talked about to produce this project. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t give us financing for something that bizarre? 
Screenplays are never finished…
2…only abandoned.Now that being said, I still plan on editing and revising my feature length screenplay and trying to heed as much of Se�or Klein’s most excellent feedback as I can, but I went ahead and submitted my screenplay to a contest. It’s strange, I wouldn’t really want to submit it to an agent until I was as finished with it as I was going to be, but for some reason I didn’t feel like sending it to a contest was as big of a deal.
With an agent, I may only have one shot to impress them, but with this contest I’m just paying my $40 and shooting the dice. I don’t feel like I’ll burn any bridges with the contest. I’ll just fade into nameless obscurity with all the other entrants. I figured that even though it probably still needs a lot of work, what the hell, the deadline was fast approaching so I’ll submit it as is and see what happens. Worst case scenario, I’m out $40. Best case scenario, I get a free trip to L.A. to see the muchacho and muchacha del fuego known as the Kleins.
Regardless, it felt cool to finally do something with it, and I think it might inspire me to finally get back to giving it a good look and try to polish this turd up.
Bah! You L.A. folks better not pass this up!
0Yet another reason I need to be in L.A. Post haste! Eddie Izzard in L.A.!
Eddie will be performing next wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday (March 2nd – 5th) at:
The Coronet Theatre
366 N. La Cienega Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90048Tickets available starting Monday, February 28th at 17:00 PST and are priced at $25.
TO BOOK CALL (US): 310.657.7377. NOW!
I was in L.A.!
3Unfortunately it was only in my dream last night. I dreamt Jess and I went on a whim to visit the lovely Kleinseseseses and when we got there Min was there too! So the big question is: Where the hell were you Soupy?
I Boycott Valentine’s Day
0I have officially decided that I no longer want anything to do with Valentine’s day. Jess and I were talking about it last night, and I think we pretty much agreed that it’s a totally fabricated holiday just to make you spend money on cliches such as flowers, candy and other things which mysteriously go up in price in February. We both really just felt like sitting around the house and watching Lost (which we downloaded since we missed it last week) and 24 on TV, so that’s just what we did. We picked up some food so Jess didn’t have to cook, watched some TV and snuggled on the couch. It was nice.
I also really identified with Will Smith’s take on it in my People magazine. He and his wife don’t do Valentine’s either. They’d rather do the same kinds of romantic things, but do them spontaneously. I totally agree with that. I don’t want to to do something because I’m supposed to do it on this particular date. Not to mention that things like going out to dinner are exponentially more of a pain in the ass when everyone else is trying to do it on the same night.
The point is that I am all for romantic gestures and gifts, but do them of your own free will when it will be a surprise, not when the commercial holiday factory tells you that you have to or else you’re a bad person.
In conclusion, I love my wife and the fact that we agree on this just reinforced all the reasons which I do. I enjoyed our simple night at home far more than any templated idea of how we should have spent the evening. [mob voice]Valentine’s day is dead to me.[/mob voice]
Fun in the 80′s!
1We went to a friend’s birthday party tonight touted as the 20th anniversary of her 21st birthday. Therefore, we were encouraged to wear out best 80′s gear. I was quite proud of mine, and Grr looked good too!
Oh me too!
2I also would like to issue an apology. I apologize to [insert name]‘s mother that she was cursed with such a sad pathetic little troll. I can’t feel anger or frustration, only pity for this poor waste of primordial soup.
“Who is [insert name]?” you may ask. Well it could be anyone! It’s up to you! Insert that politician who you dislike. Maybe it’s your boss who’s an incompetent fool. Maybe some creepy internet Troll who needs professional help. It could be anyone you would like to put in the blank! Maybe it’s ME!
Terms of Endearment
4I walked outside this morning before work to check on the my truck since it’s been leaking coolant lately. When I opened the door there was a huge pile of clothes and belongings on the ground. It looked as if someone may have pissed someone else off and thus the second someone had tossed their stuff out of the apartment. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw a note on the apartment upstairs which read “Get the fuck out, limpy dick!” It was kind of hard to read, and I kept thinking that surely it must say “limp dick” but I’m fairly positive there was a “y” on it.
Compliment or curse?
12The other night I had a sex dream about a WDer. Now first off, I don’t really remember any details at all so there will be no saucy details. I just realized later in the day that when I awoke, I realized that I had the vague and fuzzy memory. I remembered who it was and possibly some of the activities, but it was all really vague to the point that I almost didn’t even realize I had dreamt it.
I think I kind of put it out of my mind at first because I felt weird about it. Later when I had come to terms with it, I told Jess (neither one of us has any hangups, weirdness, or jealousy about things like that) and she was just jokingly disappointed that she hadn’t been involved.
I just thought I would put this tantalizing bit of info out there because now I find it amusing, and I’ve been crap at blogging.